You Won't Believe What I Just Spent Thousands of Dollars on ...

I paid top dollar to get this new headshot taken, what do you think?  Makes me look a lot softer and more approachable doesn't it? Denise57

A fast recap if you are just joining in.  My mission and I chose to accept it is to Redefine Soul.  I came to liberate souls from the good or bad box.  To bust you out of what you can and can't do.  To free you from the prison of "If I do, be or say this then they'll love me." The Redefined Soul creates their own purpose and meaning and lives by how they feel and trusts their innermost knowing.  The Redefined Soul may have a guide that looks and sounds just like them. I spent my childhood in a church apologizing to god for "having offended thee." I'm done apologizing for being me.  (You may hear me saying this again.  The redefined soul is not ashamed of "do-overs.")  This is my almost 57 year old face in harsh bathroom light.  What you see is what you get.  Cue horn section.  I've been sick this week.  Feverish with a sore throat.  This wild burning came up after a dis-spiriting call.  Make sure you get the right kind of support! I cancelled some sessions with clients yet I also kept a few appointments because I knew something would come up in those sessions that I needed to hear. Ended up talking with one client about her upcoming Pluto-Moon conjunction.  I made a silent note to self to check on the Pluto conjunctions to my personal planets.  Pluto conjuncted my Mercury and Venus before I was 3.  Cue flying monkeys from Wizard of Oz.  Shadow and Death are as important to me as my Soul. Why?  Because it's part of my soul.  I hereby declare Dark is as crucial a part of the soul as Light. I was laughing hysterically about this Pluto biz with a client today.  Pluto the old "let's strip you down until we get you to what's authentic about you."  What does a 3 year old know from authentic?  Nonetheless I must have volunteered to go to the Underworld 6 times before the age of 3.  Does that mean it still can't have f*cking sucked?  I am not now nor will I ever be a fan of spiritual bypassing.  If I'm in, I'm all in.  I know my kind of language is not for everyone and if you heard my "F*ck Being Dispassionate." call on Wednesday - you heard how much I laugh. Pluto- Moon looks like this to me. bpm2 Stanislav Grof calls this BPM II - This episode belongs perhaps to the worst experiences a human being can have. The fetuses both mechanically and chemically alienated from the mother with no possibility of immediate escape which may be later manifested as feelings of being trapped, of being hopelessly caught and overwhelmed.  I call this "One of us is going to be killed and I hope its you." Let me quote more from Dr. Grof-  It is somehow silently accepted that the delivery means suffering for the mother, but is hardly experienced on a subjective level by the child. All speculations about subtle traumatization in the first months of life seem to be absurd if the traumatic effect of the birth is denied. If the birth trauma is experienced subjectively, then it is on a completely different level of importance than any later psychological traumatization. It is a situation involving vital emergency, fight for breath, imminence of death and is comparable only to other situations involving agony and dying. So howya just going to let that go? Yes he was a pioneer in LSD psychotherapy and also in holotropic breathwork. His work speaks to my soul.  I believe he was trying to Redefine Soul.  Anyone pushing the boundaries of what's acceptable is redefining soul. I spent hours on the phone this week feeling as if I was choking when people were telling me stories that they made up to not feel the depths of the pain inside them.  I understand how hard it is/was to be a child and to feel like we had to protect our mother or father.

I had to keep a whole lot of secrets. How many secrets did you have to keep? God forbid, you reveal those secrets because then you betrayed the tribe.  We see the themes of our childhood secrets reverberating through our lives. Who is telling you that you are betraying them or a code and what is that code? Who or what are you loyal to?

How have I made myself a tribe of one?

How can I be loyal to myself and also have a tribe? How do I know what my own intuition is if most of my energy is being spent on feeling other people's feelings? My intuition may be saying “Get the hell out of here!” and my empathic heart may be saying “Oh, that would be mean.” How could I be saying/feeling/thinking that?”  Like when we knew we need to break up with someone or quit a job, but say “Just 6 more months then  _____”  We act like we are staying for someone else but we are really staying for ourselves. (more on this on my next call)

To me psychic energy cuts through confusion.  I see the picture of what I need to do and there is no emotion there.  Psychic could seem colder or more removed.  Psychic can seem upper or above.  We’re observing from above.  To me what I see in psychic space is factual information.

Psychic guidance doesn’t have that light/heavy “scale”  I don’t have to ask how it feels.  It just is.  How I feel about it doesn’t matter.  Some of you are using "It doesn't feel good" when the truth is "I'm scared to ..." 

Big changes do not always feel good. For today let me leave you with: There are no off-limits feelings.  There are no off-limits feelings.  There are no off-limits feelings.   The Truth Teller is Welcome.  The Truth Teller Welcomes ALL feelings. Denise