Our shadow contains our "fear of who we really are" & also our "fear that no one will see/recognize who we really are."
You know how fired up I get when people use light to extinguish or blot out the things that make them uncomfortable or that they don't want to see or acknowledge !!! Luckily we are having a total Solar Eclipse which I am calling a Total Eclipse of the Heart. What do I mean by that? The parts of ourselves that we rejected, abandoned, shamed or cast out of our hearts- will rise from their tombs at the Eclipse.
In my last newsletter I talked about "How do I know which voices to trust?" As we move into the first of two Eclipses in August, it's time to look at the conflict between who we tell ourselves we are and who we really are. What our gifts truly are and where we've been hiding behind "ego is bad" as a way to not put ourselves fully out there.
The New Moon in Leo on July 23rd set the stage for the Leo and Leo/Aquarius Eclipses in August.
Shamanic astrology says the way Leo gets enlightened is to expand their ego to the point where it's so big that it is as big as God's!* How do you feel about that? Have you heard the platitude that ego = edging god out? I love thinking of God with an ego. Why would shamanic astrology suggest we expand our ego to have an ego as big as God's?
Because being around people who truly love themselves in a healthy way and who don't hide that fact can empower us to love ourselves and shine. Were you warned against shining? Shamanic teaching also says we each have a Shiny Self. One that can be hard to see or remember through all the grime, shame, fog, dross and weight that we have tried to bury it under.
I recently spent a few hours with someone whose gut and inner voice were telling her what was going on in a relationship. Her response? It's arrogant of me to think that I know what is going on with someone else. Yes, and you know what is going on with you. Your body is saying No. What is your body saying No to? Know. In the middle of Know is NO.
Those quick flashes of knowing usually come in quite calmly. Sometimes they come right before we fall asleep or wake up or when we are focused on work or a task. If the knowing is about something that is going to require us to take an "uncharacteristic" action - the frenzy of denial, doubt, panic, fear, feeling sick and/or pushing it away can come in seconds later. It's important to focus on the calm you felt when you received the knowing.
"That's not me," "I can't see myself doing that," and "That's not like me," are phrases that generally follow an invitation or call to action that will disturb the status quo of our lives. Things can no longer go on as they have been. In July I had my students and clients list out some inciting incidents from their lives where they had an "Enough!" moment and took an uncharacteristic action. Some of us have had plenty of "Enough!" moments but instead of taking an uncharacteristic action we swallowed or buried our feelings. Why? Because anger is "negative" and it's much more "positive" to be a martyr, caretaker (resentful caretaker) or self-sacrificing "look at wonderful I am because I'm doing this for you" person.
Who did you take care of in your childhood or life - even if they never asked you to- that may have seemed nice on the surface but might also have been a way to avoid living your own life? What are you bragging about in a passive way but yet you may be refusing to "brag" about, be arrogant or own your true gifts? If you're not going to put yourself center stage in your life- who is?
During the Eclipse all veils are gone. A energetic wall comes down between us and the story we have been telling about who we are. A lunar eclipse occurs when the Moon passes directly behind the Earth into the Earth's shadow. The Eclipse illuminates your shadow. Do you remember during Brouhaha 2015 when I said "When you go on stage your Shadow comes with you?" So much time is spent trying to get rid of or avoid our shadow rather than realizing that our shadow contains our "fear of who we really are" and also our "fear that no one will see/recognize who we really are."
Are you ready to face your fear(s) and meet your true shadow? Is it time to stop being confused by what should I do and which of my gifts should I focus on? Are you ready to have an ego as big as god's? What could you create when you start loving what you were told is/was shameful about you? The veil(s) fall away and the curtain comes up this August - are you going to keep waiting in the wings or are you going to walk out onstage?
Leo is the sign of the child in some systems of astrology. Leo is the ruler of the Sun. The potency of experiencing a total Solar Eclipse where the Sun "disappears" and light is snuffed out - is that it gives you a fantastic opportunity to look at "False Light" in your life. Beware of false light. What do I mean by that? False light shines a light on your socially accepted/approved gifts while hiding or denying your other gifts. It uses false humility as a way to hide.
Using "light" or "positivity" to push away things that make you uncomfortable. The truth of who you are will erupt or emerge during the Eclipses IF you are not trying to push it away or have conditions on how/when it can happen. Obviously you can't stop it from happening but you can stop yourself from seeing it. The beautiful thing is we can't really stop ourselves from feeling or knowing the truth. It will show up in dreams, illnesses and other symbolic and poetic ways.
I love eclipses. I have been consciously working with them since 1993 when we had an eclipse at 22 degrees of Scorpio. In general Scorpio (ruled by Pluto) astro events signify radical initiations. Between 1993-2002 I published a book, toured around reading from it and had a major success at the San Francisco Fringe Festival. Also during those years my mother, father and marriage all died. All that death helped me see what needed to die in my life and what tombs I had to rise from. One of the tombs I had to rise from was not being able to choose me aka put myself first. I tend to have clients who have a problem putting themselves first. At the Eclipse it's time to say "I choose me."
I would love to have the opportunity to share my unique way of looking at Eclipses and the gifts and challenges they offer YOU with you. I do not do one size fits all readings or sessions. What I tell you is created specifically for you mostly using my gift of seeing in the dark + your chart, hands and energy. I am only offering 4 of these readings. I know how much energy they take on both my part and yours and I only want to read for people who are not going to push away the truth. You will also receive my Eclipse calls + Brouhaha as bonuses with the reading. Please know that since June when I began writing my one woman show I am even more committed to help you find the "theme" of your life.
p.s. There is one more special bonus! You will find out about it after you purchase your reading !!!
* quote from The Shamanic Astrology Handbook by Daniel Giamario and Carolyn Brent