Though it is the Sagittarius Full Moon my guides focused pretty much my entire Full Moon call on Saturn Rx'ing into Scorpio. Rx is a symbol for a prescription. Some of us rush to get a prescription at the first sign of pain or discomfort and others of us refuse medication. Some of us are almost addicted to our pain, to our independence, to not having any needs. We're obsessed with protection. Spiritual, emotional and system wide protection. 2012 seems like a lifetime ago. 2012 was when the 7 Pluto/Uranus squares began and Saturn went into Scorpio for the first time since 1953. The mythology of Saturn is about constricting, taking away, making us do without, the punisher, father or patriarch. Saturn also teaches us what agreements and contracts we need to break if we are TRULY going to allow ourselves to shine. Saturn in Scorpio and the 7 Pluto/Uranus squares gave us a true stripping down to our core.
What did I have "taken away" between 2012 and 2015? Where did I see that I was being brittle or inflexible? Where did I see that I was being way too flexible? What did my money situation during those years show me about myself? What do I value? What has worth in my world?
These years attempted to crack our shells of self-protection, of isolation, of fear, of self-destruction. We say we want to grow but then it turns out we only want to grow if the growth meets certain conditions.
One thing that came up leading up to this call was people telling me about "contracts" they had made. A contract to be poor was one example. My guides asked me to tell you: "I can give myself full permission to break or change any contract I created."
Saturn can feel very much like "I have to keep my word." Saturn can feel like being responsible is the most important thing. Yet, like I wrote about the other day it can also make us feel guilty and like everything is our fault, that we are "responsible." Will you - along with me at this Full Moon agree to choose to whom and what you want to be responsible? What does "responsible" look like in your world?
Where or why am I insisting that I have to stick to some sort of limiting/punishing or punitive script? How is this serving me? Why did I choose this?
What am I gaining by being "poor me"? A self of self-righteousness perhaps? Giving people opportunities to "take care of" me? Am I punishing anyone by not making something of myself? Did I push away my dreams at the same time I rejected the life someone else dreamed for me?
Do I believe I can have money and love? "Money Drives out Love." I heard that one in my childhood. At least we have love. (no money) Can I have money and have a partner? Do I believe I can have both money and intimacy? Am I using having or not having money to block intimacy?
Am I using pain to not have money? Am I using pain to not have love? Am I using pain to avoid intimacy?
One of the purposes of Saturn in Scorpio over the past 3 years was to look at where I'm in a shell. Justifying this by saying I'm protecting my self, my resources, my family. I'm protecting or keeping secrets to not "hurt" someone else. I'm living according to "codes" that I never agreed to. I If I expose my vulnerability, I'll get hurt. I'm afraid I'll be rejected. In my shell I don't have to RISK.
Did I become more intimate over the past 3 years and with what? If it is was with your pain- this is a shell game. There's no risk until that intimacy involves another person. I do want you to feel all your feelings and then we have to take it on the road and risk emotional exposure not - do the "I only want to grow under xyz conditions."
What was your money situation like over the past 3 years? Growing, shrinking, stagnant? If it's not growing ask yourself "What am I protecting?" (just ask you may be surprised at the answer)
If you want to grab a copy of this call and the rest of my writings from the call - you can do so here: