I'm fired up, raring and ready to go!!! My guides handed me Change and Growth this morning and tossed stagnation behind my altar. Cracked me up. I just spent some time feeling very stagnant and knew that this one of those times where I could either make big changes or wait until I was knocked flat on my ass in a full on stubborn "But I don't want to ..." temper tantrum alternating with pity-party energy. These past 2 months have been nuts! I'm almost out of my Death year (according to Angeles Arrien in the Tarot Handbook) and my last bit of stubborn "I don't want to..." was forced up by people trying to hand me the same old shit I've invited people to hand me my whole life.
This time I spent a lot of time crying, softening, questioning, looking at what is mine in this situation and what isn't? Not much anger - a lot of pain- an insane amount of kicked in the gut pain, lots of "That's not who I am", grieving and a gradual emerging into owning and loving what I was told was not loveable about me.
I've been having the hard conversations. Moving towards rather than pulling away. Staying open rather than shutting down. Is this easy? Hell no. I feel as if the only thing keeping me going sometimes is knowing I'm in a death year. It would be "easy" to go all new age-y and act like there are endless possibilities, except you know what sometimes there aren't.
This Summer- the Summer of 2015 was named the Summer of Opportunity by my guides. I'm devoting it to working with just a few people who are truly ready to make the deep changes in their bodies and lives that they have been avoiding making up until now. When you hire a psychic or a reader all we can see is what is already in your body. If it's in your body- YOU know the change has to be made. And I am no longer willing to take on the label of "mean" when I tell the Truth.
I know that we put ourselves in these situations. That gator has that naked girl in his mouth but she stripped off her clothes knowing she needed to meet the gator. I'm ready to work with people who I don't have to slow down for. When we are dying we get right to it!
I saw that most of the people I most want to work with don't have a lot of money right now and they may not until they get out of stagnation. It's cruel and mean to tell someone who doesn't know how to love themselves "Get out there and find 10k and then come back."
If you're ready to start loving ALL of yourself let's talk. If you already love yourself I'm probably not your person. I am excellent with people who are in psychic pain, who have been traumatized, people who are wearing "happy" and "nice" masks and who are ready to let the Truth Teller emerge. I have an accelerated mentoring program I'm doing over the next few months. We will be taking lots of action and doing lots of FEELING.
We will be doing the things that are incredibly hard to do - here's what I wrote this morning to a few of my clients.
Petty or Opening the Flow? The thing that you don't want to do may be the key to opening YOUR Flow.
I wanted to share with all of you that I had to send some e-mails over the past few days that I was postponing because they felt "petty."
As soon as I sent them I could feel the space to receive into - open back up.
I was closed down because I was begrudging people paying me late and not fulfilling their end of the deal.
I was closed down because I sent out an offer for a 4 calls + ritual series on a "pay in cash and send me a lovely card" to people i know who needed a break. A bunch of people signed up and only 1 person came through with their payment. I tried to do the new age-y positive talk on that. But I knew I needed to send the e-mail asking "What happened on your end?" The people who replied were awesome.
None of this was about them- it was about me trying to get out of saying how I felt and what I needed.
So what conversation are you avoiding having because it feels petty, what's the big deal?, insignificant, mean, scary?
I sent the e-mails because it would have been easier for me to not send them. We have a few hours before the New Moon to do some clean-up. Mine will continue.
I'll be sending out 20-30 newsletter in the next 30 days. I'm informing you of this so you know what I will be doing. So much is bubbling up in me some weeks I did 5-6 group calls. I want to get as much of this as I can out and I'm over the facebook format. People often don't "Like" stuff that cuts.
Truth like "Light" and "Love" cuts deep through our shit. I'm not willing to slow down for anyone. If they can't keep up they're not my people.
More tomorrow on Creativity and how to work with me this summer.
Your Truth Teller,