Movements are Fueled by Emotion- that can be Risky ...

What does it take to cross the line from fear to truly coming face to face with what I call your true self and taking them out into the world?  I told a client the other day before she went on her 2nd dismemberment journey that I wanted her to go in as if her life depended on it.  Your true self may guide you towards deep and primal places to help you remember who you are.

The cost of remembering who you are can be steep.  Especially when who you know you are does not look like anyone around you.  Are you ready to stand out and get a lot of attention?  Did you ever think that standing out is your way of being of service?  I am risking being vulnerable and putting my life on stage this fall at the San Francisco Fringe Festival.  In order to do this I need your help by May 31rst.

I grew up in a place where the underlying current was one of fear.  Fear of hell, of what the neighbors would think, where your desires could lead you, wanting more than your status in life and/or of being punished.  It didn't take me long to realize that fear was an invisible fence keeping us in line and that I didn't want to stay on a path that someone else had created. How about you? 

I watched alcohol and mental illness chew up and spit out what my father, aunts and uncles tried to bury.  After a strong wave of emotion we were told they didn't mean it because they were "under the influence" or touched in the head.

It doesn't take a genius to know that being under the influence blurs the lines we may have been afraid to let ourselves cross while "sober."  That strong wave of emotion was trying to move them, to shake them up, to remind them they still had fight in them.  Or maybe that is just me wanting it to be that way.   I was chuckling with a friend the other day about sometimes even those of us who think we are "out of the box" create new boxes for ourselves.

Rebellious is a label that was created for me because I asked a lot of questions and was trying to figure out my own truth. I had a hard time letting people have an influence on me even if it could have helped me.

The question is what are you under the influence of? Who or what has the strongest influence on you?   Who are you influencing?

One of the strongest influences on my life was the Punk movement in the late 70's.  It hit home when one evening on a local new shows 3 guys appeared on the screen that I thought must be from another city.  One of them was wearing a cigarette butt for an earring.   I can't remember anything that they said.   My synapses were firing "I am going to meet them." and "My life has started."   When I met them Bill Bored (the cigarette butt earring one) let me play his drums and I was hooked.  Within a few weeks I had 20-30 songs, a band, a place to hang out and a community.  I had found a place where I was valued. 

Why am I sharing this with you now?  Because this September I will be part of the San Francisco Fringe Festival doing a one woman show (that may shift) titled Rebel Seer about my punk rock days.  It may seem hard for those of you who grew up with Riot Grrrll to believe but I was a founding member of one of the very few all female punk rock bands at that time. 

That's me with the polka dot hair in the picture at the top of this newsletter.  I wrote songs about masturbation I Love Me, looking good and staying silent Paper Doll and Two Fingers Wide.  My band was featured in Debt Begins at 20 an underground film by Stephanie Beroes.  Two Fingers Wide generally gets mentioned in every review of that film.

I see Rebel Seer in my mind's eye as a multi-media piece.  Video, photos, old recordings, interviews and live performer.   Reading that you can tell this is not going to be inexpensive to mount this production.  Here's where you come in.  I need your help.   I have created my own version of a crowd funding page that shows how you can support me and receive some cool offerings in return for your support.  If you want something that is not listed - ask me!

If you have declared certain emotions inherently positive or negative, off limits, to be worked on or gotten rid of - has it ever occurred to you that you might be limiting not only your range of motion but that you may be limiting your ability to move people?

Some people see punk as a negative movement.  The rawness of the lyrics and the primal energy of the music stopped my sleepwalking.  It expelled the Snow White apple out of my throat and helped me own my bad self.  It gave me an audience and a stage from which to move people.  We laughed, we got angry, we had fun, we got jealous and we exploded.  The seeds from that small group of people spread out throughout the U.S. and internationally.   Help me continue to spread the word of the freedom that comes from owning your bad self and speaking your truth.  People need to hear it.